Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
