i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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