What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
