I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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