I don't think brook has ever known best
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
