what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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