If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
