he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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