hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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