I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
