We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
