...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
