did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
