Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize