Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
