He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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