so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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