Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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