Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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