I'm going to jail i love you
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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