I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
