she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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