There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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