I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
