Can Purell be used as lube?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
