Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Go christen that room with your naked body.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
