I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
