You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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