Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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