I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we're chasing vodka with high fives
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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