I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
