her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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