lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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