Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
