I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
