WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
