JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize