dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize