Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
