You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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