i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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