I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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