The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
