If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
