Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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