whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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