Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The uberlube is also flammable
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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