ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
