We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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