Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
