please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Damn victory sex feels great
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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