so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
