I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize