I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
