forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
