She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
